31 Things to Know When Dating an ESFJ

ESFJs are sociable and caring. You can count on us to always look out for those we care about. We are extremely organized, and we might come across as a little bossy at times.

However, ESFJs are some of the kindest and most loving people you’ll ever meet. We are deeply loyal, and we will stick by you through thick and thin.

In this post, we run through 31 things you need to know when dating an ESFJ. So, if you’re dating an ESFJ or are curious about what makes them tick, read on.

1. We are incredibly supportive partners.

ESFJs are extremely supportive partners because we want you to be happy. Relationships of all kinds are important to us, and, in fact, they’re what we live for. If you’re dating an ESFJ, know that they will always be there for you when you need them.

2.  We are naturally warm people.

ESFJs come across as friendly and bubbly. We enjoy taking care of others and making them feel comfortable and at ease. Typically, we are great at reading other people, and we will go out of our way to create a happy and harmonious environment.

3.  We are great listeners.

Since we take such an interest in people, it should come as no surprise that we’re also great listeners.  If you need someone to talk through things with, an ESFJ will be more than happy to lend a listening ear. We’re patient and willing to put in the time to understand other people’s problems. Ultimately, we want nothing more than to help you feel better.

6. We are generous.

ESFJs are known for their generosity. We are always quick to help out our loved ones, and we are always looking for ways to make people happy. More often than not, ESFJs are the kind of people who will shower you with presents on your birthday or at Christmas. We are natural givers, whether it’s with time or money.

7. We love to show affection.

ESFJs are some of the most affectionate you’ll ever meet. We enjoy expressing our love for our partners in all kinds of ways, from physical touch to surprise gifts. So, if you’re dating an ESFJ, don’t be surprised if they shower you with affection.

8. We can be the life and soul of the party.

ESFJs are known for their outgoing, fun-loving nature. We love being the center of attention, and we always know how to make people laugh. If you’re dating an ESFJ, you can expect them to be the life and soul of the party.

9. We are natural caregivers.

You might not be surprised to hear that we are natural caregivers. We have a strong desire to look after others and this often manifests in our relationships. This can be everything from checking you have the emotional support you need to making sure that you’ve got enough to eat. If you’re dating an ESFJ, know that they will always try to take care of you – even if you don’t always need it.

10. We are great communicators.

ESFJs are known for their excellent communication skills. Additionally, we are quick to express our feelings, and we’re very good at listening to others. We are one of the most open personality types, and we know how to bring people out of their shells.

11. We are creatures of habit.

Since we are such organized people, we like structure and routine. We take comfort in the familiar, and we like knowing what to expect. If you’re dating an ESFJ, don’t be surprised if they like to stick to a fairly strict schedule. We aren’t the most adaptable people, so if you’re dating an ESFJ, expect them to want to plan dates in advance.

12. We are reliable.

ESFJs are exceptionally reliable. We always keep our word, and we’re always there when you need us, which can make us great partners. Plus, we’re sensible and grounded. You won’t catch us rushing into something without considering the practical side of it.

13. We can be a little bit needy.

Because we crave emotional intimacy, we can sometimes be a little bit needy. We might want to spend all our time with you, and we might get upset if we feel like you’re not giving us enough attention. If you’re dating an ESFJ, be prepared to give them plenty of love and attention.

14. We love planning things.

ESFJs are natural planners. We love organizing events, and we’re always looking for ways to make things run smoothly. Our diary plays a major role in our lives! If you’re dating an ESFJ, you can expect them to want to take the reins and make sure that everything is going to plan.

17. We sometimes overthink things.

Because we care so much about other people’s opinions, we can sometimes overthink things. We might obsess over little details or we might worry about what could go wrong. If you’re dating an ESFJ, be prepared to deal with their anxiety and their need for reassurance.

18. We need to feel appreciated.

ESFJs are some of the most thoughtful people you’ll ever meet. We go out of our way to do things for our partners, and we like them to appreciate us for this. If you’re dating an ESFJ, you should know that there’s nothing we love more than feeling like we’re needed and valued.

19. We tend to have a lot of friends.

ESFJs are known for their social butterfly tendencies. We love being around people and we always seem to collect friends wherever we go. If you’re dating an ESFJ, you can expect them to have a large circle of friends.

20. We are great at reading people.

A defining quality of any ESFJ is our ability to read people. We have a knack for understanding how people are feeling, and we always know when something is wrong. This ability to read people can be very helpful in relationships.

21. We can cross across as nosey.

Because we’re so interested in other people, we can sometimes come across as nosey. We might pry into our partner’s life, or we might ask a lot of personal questions. It’s just that we are genuinely interested in you and your life.

22. We want to make you happy.

We’re always quick to help others, and we’re always looking for ways to make someone’s day a little brighter. If you’re dating an ESFJ, know that they will always go out of their way to do something nice for you and bring happiness to your life.

23. We can struggle to set boundaries.

ESFJs can find it difficult to set boundaries. We’re the kind of people who always want to please others, and we often put their needs above our own. This means that sometimes people try to take advantage of us, so it’s important that we learn how to set boundaries.

26. We like things to be traditional.

ESFJs tend to prefer traditional relationships. We like the idea of being in a relationship where there are clear roles and expectations. If you’re dating an ESFJ, you can expect them to want a traditional, committed relationship.

27. We have a deep understanding of social dynamics.

We are very good at understanding social dynamics. This is because we have a keen sense of how people interact with each other, and we always know when something is off. This ability to read social cues can be very helpful in relationships, as it allows us to understand our partner on a much deeper level.

28. We can be concerned with what people think of us.

While ESFJs are usually confident people, we can sometimes be concerned with what people think of us. We want to be liked and accepted by others, and we sometimes do things that aren’t in our best interests in order to please them.

29. We are extremely organized.

ESFJs are organized, and we like to plan things out far into the future. We might not be the most spontaneous people, but you can be sure that we will be great at planning special occasions and trips away.

30. We have a practical side.

ESFJs are very practical people. We take a pragmatic approach to life in general, and we always make sure to do things in the most efficient way possible. This practicality allows us to get things done quickly.

31. We can be sentimental.

ESFJs are often very sentimental people. We tend to hold onto things that have sentimental value, and we can sometimes be quite nostalgic. This sentimentality can sometimes be a good thing, as it allows us to appreciate the good times we’ve had in our lives. However, it can also lead us to dwell on the past, and this can prevent us from living in the present.

Share this post to help other people understand ESFJ dating

We hope this provides some insight into what makes ESFJs tick and helps make your relationship a little smoother. Remember, we’re all unique individuals, so not everything on this list will apply to every ESFJ – but it should give you a good starting point.

If you haven’t already, be sure to check out our other post on ESFJ compatibility. Or perhaps you’re an ESFJ, and you’d like your partner to understand you on a deeper level? Share this post with them and see what they think.