ENTP – ENTP Relationships: Double Trouble

This week we explore an ENTP – ENTP relationship with Anna and Ethan from Nebraska. Anna, an ENTP who is 24, and Ethan, an ENTP who is 23 first met when they were studying theater at college and have been together for two years. As soon as they met, they were instantly on the same wavelength and shared a number of interests. The couple talk about their introverted tendencies despite being extroverts, how they often think exactly the same thing and Ethan’s sneaky way of asking Anna out on a date.

How the ENTP – ENTP relationship started

Being the same personality type meant that they were instantly on the same wavelength. “We have very similar interests,” says Anna. “We share pretty similar backgrounds too.” Ethan and Anna knew each other as classmates to start with and to cleverly initiate a first date, Ethan made a wager about missing out on a study paper where the loser had to buy breakfast for the other. “I had no intention of ever doing this stupid paper, so I got to buy breakfast and that was kind of how it all spun,” says Ethan.

However, it was no surprise to Anna that it was actually a date because of the chemistry that had already developed between them. “We bantered back and forth for a while and it was just like, ‘Okay, he totally likes me,’” says Anna. “We were both flirting in the same manner. So it was fairly obvious to me.”

The ENTP – ENTP first date

On the breakfast date Ethan and Anna voiced that they felt more for each other than friends. Ethan said: “What are we going to do about this unspoken thing between us?”

Ethan had always found Anna to be funny and interesting and pretty. Anna explains that Ethan always made her laugh during class. “We were those people who would sit in the back of the class and we would just talk back and forth, like the teacher’s just doing a lesson and we would just be making fun of them the entire time,” says Anna.

And even two years on, that banter still keeps going. “We take great pleasure and just sit in the back and just like having our own little commentary,” says Anna. “We never even specified a certain time in which we called each other boyfriend and girlfriend. It just happened. Everyone knew it and everyone was just like, ‘Oh, they like each other’.”

16 personality types

Anna was well aware of her personality type when she met Ethan although she thought that she was an introvert until she got to college. “I’d spent my entire childhood thinking that I was an introvert because I was home schooled,” explains Anna. “I was just constantly to myself. I was an only child. So I thought, ‘Oh, I’m totally comfortable being alone.’ Then I got to college and I realized, hey, I actually like talking to people and I actually liked communicating with everybody.”

Anna did the personality type test again and discovered she was an extrovert – a real turning point for her. The confusion could be because some extroverts tend to spend more time alone as the extroversion that ENTPs and ENFPs show is more focused on ideas rather than people. A benefit of an ENTP – ENTP relationship is that both people would be a unique mixture of adventurous and having a need for alone time.

Anna agrees with this. “We can be completely comfortable just socializing with people but there’s several nights where we spend time alone at home just watching movies,” she adds.

Both Ethan and Anna are very similar in this respect. “We both have social batteries that run out quickly,” he says.

As Anna puts it: “I can only make jokes for a certain number of hours.”

Ethan first learned about the 16 personality types in his freshman year of college when he took the test and initially came out as being an ENFP. Then, between freshman year and junior year he explains that he discovered his “demons and depression”. This was around the time he met Anna and she persuaded him to re-take the test. When he took it again he was an ENTP.

Of course, just because they are ‘thinkers’, ENTPs have emotions too. “A lot of the times people put thinkers into these boxes of having zero emotion and that’s mainly what confused me growing up,” says Anna. “It’s not true. Thinkers definitely have a lot of feelings; we just handle it in a different way other than feelers. So that’s kind of how I discovered who I was, and it was years of a journey.”

The ENTP shared love of acting

“Once I saw a lot of the people, historically actors and others that were involved with that type, I was like, ‘okay, this makes sense, this is more me than the last one,’” says Ethan. And this has influenced his acting too. “When it comes to acting, I just love inhabiting different characters. There was a great acting teacher, Sanford Meisner, and his technique is always ‘living truthfully under imaginary circumstances’. And I just love that part about acting, discovering who this character is and making him different than me and finding all the different nuances to it.”

Anna’s love for acting is more about reacting to other people. “Especially with my very sheltered background, I grew the extroverted feeling part of myself,” she explains. “So I’m very attuned with other people’s emotions, especially on the stage. It’s very easy for me to have chemistry with people in general.”

The ENTP – ENTP relationship spark

In terms of their ENTP – ENTP relationship, knowing which personality type they are has helped the couple grow together. “It definitely answers certain questions for sure. I think that it helps to know that if you have one way of thinking, the same as the other person, obviously you check with them, but that they’re probably, say nine times out of ten, thinking the same way about it as you are, which is very comforting,” says Ethan.

Anna agrees that they usually have the same gut feeling about people they meet. “I feel that a lot of the times, when you think of two ENTPs in a relationship, you just imagine pure chaos,” she admits. “But I think both of us have more of a developed sense of self. If we’d met any younger, I don’t think that would be the case. I think we both would be the chaotic people, but I think gradually we’ve discovered ourselves. We’re still growing. We still have a lot of personal growth that we’d like to prioritize. You would not want to have seen us five years ago!”

In terms of their day-to-day ENTP – ENTP relationship, no conversation is off the table. “There’s a really nice open dialogue to it,” says Anna. “I think a lot of the times ENTPs do suffer from the feeling of misunderstanding and we get used to it because we’re surrounded by people that we have to constantly try to understand. And we do enjoy understanding but it’s nice to reach the place where we call a person a home.”

Resolving conflict

When it comes to conflict, they ensure they communicate fully. “A lot of the time, being thinkers, we sometimes don’t know how to handle our emotions, whether it’s in a quiet way or a loud way,” says Anna. “But usually, when one of us is feeling extra emotional, the other person is willing to say, ‘Okay, let’s think about this for a little bit.’ Neither of us really are emotional at the same time.”

ENTP – ENTP chemistry

They both bring a sense of balance to each other’s lives and Ethan manages to make Anna laugh a lot. “I like that she laughs. She’s funny.,” says Ethan. “She’s soft-hearted and I like that she’s up for anything like adventures. I guess flexibility would be one thing that I really like about Anna.”

Anna appreciates Ethan’s open-mindedness. “We’re able to see different perspectives, whether in each other or in certain people,” says Anna. They organically have lots of spontaneous adventures. “Every time we try to have a structure, I feel that we’re just like, ‘Okay, well let’s be a little chaotic. Let’s just throw a little spice into the mix’’” says Anna.

ENTP personal growth

Being the same personality type, coming up with what an answer to what they might change in each other is tricky. “I think being self-aware and constantly growing, you’re always trying to be better tomorrow than you were today, and better today than you were yesterday. So it’s constant evolving,” says Ethan.

Anna feels the same way. “I feel that we both have evolved a lot, even in the two and a half years that we’ve known each other,” she adds. “I feel that we’ve just developed ourselves, developed our perspectives on a lot of things. And honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing right now because I know that we’re not going to be the same in a year or 10 years.”

ENTP – ENTP compatibility

Due the high-level banter between them, sometimes people don’t understand the deep connection that they share. “Because we do love bantering back and forth, sometimes it can appear hostile on the outside. Sometimes it’s just like, ‘Oh, don’t worry, we do get along,’”

Says Anna. “But sometimes we re-evaluate and as performers, sometimes it’s like putting on a show for everybody and maybe we have got to tone it down.” Banter aside, they bring similar strengths to their ENTP – ENTP relationship. “I think I’m a decently good listener.” Says Ethan. “If there’s a problem, she can just lay it all out just to have a voice or ear to hear her. I think that that’s definitely a strong point.”

Anna agrees that they are both very active listeners. “We both really acknowledge each other’s feelings and we both want to understand each other,” says Anna.

ENTP – ENTP relationship challenges

Anna feels her weakness is reacting too emotionally to quickly to situations. “Sometimes emotions just hit out of nowhere and sometimes, especially me, I don’t fully process it in the moment,” she explains. “I’m angry, but I don’t know why I’m angry. However, usually either me or him are able to just re-evaluate, just reconstruct what exactly is going on inside.”

Ethan is more measured with his emotions which he feels can sometimes be a weakness. “I can tend to bottle up, which is a weakness of mine,” he says. “I just push things down.”

Despite both being ENTPs, they do have some differences, which enhance their relationship. “I can tend to be a little bit more outgoing. If we go to a new place, I feel like I’m the one that’s the prepper, kind of breaking the ice,” says Ethan.

It takes Anna a little more to warm up. “I think it’s because of our childhood,” she explains. “He had three siblings, I had zero siblings. I didn’t have a lot of family around me so I’m slightly more reluctant to warm up sometimes.”

Family influence on personality

ENTPs tend to not be serious planners. However, Anna embraces this more than Ethan. “Planning is a sore spot. Definitely she is the better planner than me,” says Ethan. “I’m more ‘Let’s just do it’. And Anna is like, ‘Well, let’s maybe figure out how to do it.’”

Anna credits her parents’ personality types with this. “I had SJ [personality type] parents. They hammered it into me very early on that you have to be early to things, you have to plan for things. And I thought that this isn’t me, but I guess I have to put it in my mind. Honestly, I never really saw eye to eye with SJ parents. I was on a different wavelength to them but it has definitely helped me a lot which is good because otherwise I think this whole world would be in chaos if all the NPs were together.”

The future of the ENTP – ENTP relationship

Moving forward, these ENTPs have a similar life plan. “Seeing our goals and dreams kind of realized is cool and, what plans we do have, seeing those come to fruition,” says Ethan.

“And just growing with each other and seeing where this crazy trip called life takes us.”

“I feel the same,” says Anna. “And I can’t wait for you guys [So Syncd] to build your empire.”

Us too!

How to write your own love story

Sign up to So Syncd, the personality type dating app, for free today to find your perfect personality match and write your own love story.

You can listen to the full episode of our podcast on Personality Love Lab, Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

You can also read more of our real life love stories. We spoke to an ENTP – ENTP couple from America, being the same personality type, they were instantly on the same wavelength and shared a number of interests.

You can also read more of our real life love stories. We spoke to an ISFJ – ESFJ couple from New York. The first met at a party but they were both seeing other people. A few years later, they then reconnected on a dating app and now they are married with their first baby.