ENFP – INFJ Relationships: The Golden Pair

We explore an ENFP – INFJ relationship with Anna and Logan from Canada. Anna, an INFJ who is 33, and Logan, an ENFP who is 38, first met at work in 2013. They reconnected on Snapchat a few years later, after Logan accidentally thought that Anna was his cousin! And the rest was history. In this interview, they talk about their mutual love of ideas, their first date in an RV and how they complement each other.

How the ENFP – INFJ relationship started

Logan is a business owner and Anna is a bookkeeper. She worked part-time for Logan’s company for three years on a professional-only basis. However, Logan was married at the time and, although Anna did have a crush on him from the get-go, their relationship remained purely professional.

Then, about two years ago, Logan accidentally Snapchatted Anna thinking she was his cousin. “I actually had gotten a new phone,” explains Logan. “I don’t have any social media myself except for Snapchat, which isn’t really social media. I’m not very up to date with technology so I just added everybody back onto Snapchat that was in my contacts.”

This initially confused Anna no end. “He didn’t know who I was at first…he thought I was a cousin or something! He has a lot of family. And so then he was Snapping me weird stuff and I was like, ‘Oh my God, I don’t think he knows who I am.’”

Finally, Logan realized who Anna was.  “Oh no, I think I figured out who this is,” Logan eventually messaged Anna. “I’m so sorry for all the weird stuff I’ve been sending!” This had not put Anna off one bit and, while Anna was on holiday in Europe, they then messaged each other every day.

The ENFP – INFJ dating phase

“I loved it because I get really nervous about dating,” says Anna. “And so [I loved] the fact that I already knew him from work and then we messaged each other every day for almost a month.”

As an INFJ, Anna needed exactly the sort of start to a relationship that Anna needed, being an INFJ. Like many people on So Syncd, getting to know someone online first and not meeting up immediately after making contact suited Anna and Logan better.

Their first date was subsequently quirky and memorable. “I was in between houses and I was living in a RV for a few months at my parent’s farm,” says Logan. “So that’s where our first date was. Anna came over…”

This might not have been everyone’s first choice for a first date but, as an ENFP – INFJ golden pair on So Syncd, it couldn’t have been better.

“We watched a movie and we were on a farm,” says Anna.  “The scenery was beautiful. I loved how unique it was. And it was perfect for us.”

16 personality types

Logan was first attracted to Anna’s strong INFJ personality traits of Anna.

“She was, or is a very, very caring person, very passionate about what she does. Very creative, very, very beautiful,” he explains.

Similarly, Anna was attracted to strong personality traits in Logan. Through their talking she realized how caring and what a good listener he is.

“As a business owner, I also saw how well he treats his employees,” explains Anna. “This is a guy who, literally, if his employees have trouble making rent or whatever, he will pull money out of his own pocket and he will give it to them. And that really attracted me to him. And of course, as we got to know each other, I was like, ‘Man, he’s hot!’”

Logan considered them a couple from the start (ENFPs tend to fall for people quickly). It took Anna, who is more cautious when it comes to dating as an INFJ, two months of them hanging out together before she could verbalize that they were in a serious relationship.

“Being an INFJ, I take dating very seriously. I don’t like casually seeing someone,” says Anna.

It’s typical for ENFPs to dive head first into things, including dating. It’s also typical for INFJs to take their time to open up.

The personality test geek

Anna had already spent ten years delving into personality types. She describes herself as a personality test geek. She initially thought she was an ENFJ but then re-did the test three years ago and realized she was an INFJ…then it all made perfect sense.

“INFJs can be misinterpreted as being extraverted because they do have so much love for people,” says Anna.  She encouraged Logan to take the personality test a year ago and his result of an ENFP was spot on. 

“He got the result that he was an ENFP and it totally makes sense,” says Anna.  “He’s a business owner. He’s incredibly creative. He always has wild ideas and then I read online that it was the perfect match and we do meld so well.”

Complementary INFJ – ENFP personality traits

Anna’s Judging (J) traits balance out Logan’s Perceiving (P) tendencies.

“He oftentimes (and I love this) lets me have the final decision or make the final say in things,” says Anna.  “That’s really important because I think that if two Js are together, they will butt heads because they want to both be the leader.”

As an INFJ, Anna values creativity and independence. She has been working on a business idea and Logan has been able to have input into it and help her make it into a reality.

“Logan was really good for me because I am intensely idealistic,” says Anna. “ He is more grounded. He is more realistic. So he is just able to help me bring my ideas into reality.”

Anna, being an NF (INFJ), has always been intrigued about people who are STs.

“I was always so interested in how ISTPs think or how ESTJs are, because they’re very logical, very straightforward, they’re big thinkers, but I was always turned off by how abrupt or how non-emotional they would be,” says Anna. However, meeting Logan was a turning point.

“I love and admire how Logan can be very objective. So he will see different sides of a story, “ says Anna.  “And then he’ll be very empathetic so he brings out my T side or my logical side.”

Logan, on the other hand, loves Anna’s caring nature and also her wealth of ideas.

“She has a lot of different ideas that I’ve never heard before,” says Logan. “I’ve never known anybody like her. New ideas are what change the world.”

And what about making changes to each other’s personalities? While Logan can’t think of anything he would change about Anna, the only trait Anna would tweak for Logan relates to his ENFP caring and kind nature.

“Logan is so kind, caring, accepting and so forgiving, sometimes he’s not very assertive,” explains Anna while also freely admitting that this is what she loves about him too. “I think that it can be easy sometimes for people to take advantage of his kind of nature.”

The ENFP – INFJ relationship challenges

Logan had been divorced for a year before meeting Anna. Having an ex-wife and three children from Logan’s previous marriage has created some testing moments for their relationship.

“We are more adamant about spending time with the kids, having them more often,” says Anna. “So family balancing has been a challenge for us. However, I think this is something that we will definitely have to deal with as we do plan on having children together.”

Other than that, Anna has lost a few friends because they are jealous of Anna and Logan’s relationship. “I’ve literally had girlfriends think that I’m lying and just making up this fairytale story that I have such a wonderful man and such a great relationship,” says Anna.  “However, besides those challenges, I would say every aspect of our relationship is great. It’s wonderful.”

How to write your own love story

Sign up to So Syncd, the personality type dating app, for free today to find your perfect personality match and write your own love story.

You can listen to the full episode of our podcast on Personality Love Lab, Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

You can read about another golden pair, an ISFJ – ESTP couple who met when they were just 16 and are now married!